January 24th, 2006

Mike vs. Acid Tim


    "I swear to god," Tim says. "I swear - to - god!"
    "Okay, alright, hold on!" Rick laughs. "You gotta stop saying this kind of stuff, man. I'm going!" He rolls the dice. A seven. Advance to Community Chest.
    "I'm just saying," Tim continues, uninterruptible even at the most adverse of talking points, "you are the Liberal Party of Canada. You're right in the middle!"
    "Oh, yeah, but I'm doing my damndest to pretend I'm lower-class enough to vote NDP," Rick counters, tipping his head to the flannel shirt hanging on the doorknob, covered with a hat reading "Bourgeois Ford." Rick always claimed that the contradictory statement actually proved his status, in that he drove a Chevrolet ('01 Malibu) but stole the hat from a Mustang driver in Rockcliff.
    He turns over the bonus card, reading out the reward. "Aha! Twenty-five dollars for services rendered!"
    Tim grants him a wave of the hand, rolling and advancing as he does so. "Hey, yeah, you're making a comeback! You're like Paul Martin, you're on the comeback trail!"
    Rick agrees, slipping easily into the stereotype of the luckmaker. "All I have to do is keep hitting free spaces, pass Go, I'm back in the game." He rolls again. Three. One, two, three, Chance. Another card. "Look! Another fifty dollars!"
    Tim's roll lands him on some inconsequential mortgaged property, and Rick grabs the dice, eager to see if he'll hit the five for another Community Chest space to go with Go. The dice drop, bringing a four.
    Four advances Rick to Serangoon Road, the cheapass counterpart to Baltic Avenue in the Singapore version of the game that Tim inexplicably owns. Tim also owns the hotel that sits on the property. "Hmm..." He studies the title deed. "That's $450."
    Rick counts out his two hundred from Go, adds it to the two forty-five in front of him. Tim counts along with glee. "$300, $400... $440..."
    "Alright," Rick offers uselessly, holding up the wad of bills. "I'll give you four forty-five now, and you know I'm good for the other five."
    "Noooo, I think I beat you." Tim's eyes roll up to think as Rick throws his money across the board.
    They sit in silence for a moment.
    "Smoke?" Mike asks.
    "Smoke," Tim agrees.
    "Smoke." Rick stands up.

Written January 21st, 2006 - two days before the Conservatives won a minority government.