February 16th, 2006

Mark!

I For Infra-Red Shift

SIMON

My name's Simon Roberts, I have cybernetic implants, and I'm humanity's last hope against a fascist government in a world gone mad. Any questions?

INTERVIEWER

Uh, just one. Do you have a female sidekick, preferably in a plastic form-fitting catsuit?

NARRATOR

In a world gone mad...

SIMON

I mentioned that, yeah.

NARRATOR

Only one man can save the world.

MADMAN

Hey, what about me?

SIMON

You die in one of those horrific sequences where you save me, and I almost save you back, but your tremendous sacrifice actually saves me instead.

MADMAN

I'm not dying unless I win the Oscar.

SIMON

I'll get Clint Eastwood on the line. Maybe we can work in some boxing, or a horrific childhood experience that scars you for life.

MADMAN

Or I could be a rustic man-of-the-land who hunts for exotic fireflies in the Louisiana swamp, and you could be the screenwriter assigned to make a PBS special based on my life.

NARRATOR

I FOR INFRA-RED SHIFT


MARINA

I thought I told you to get me the blue catsuit!

the future is later