April 23rd, 2006

Erstwhile Concept Art

Taxes 2006

Enter the amount spent on hookers in 2005 on line 387. If you spent money on an international hooker, you may be eligible for a Senate appointment (see section 4.7 in the Tax Guide, "Cover-Ups and Kickbacks.")

Check box #455 if you wish to contribute your refund to the Canadian hockey team so we can actually win a medal in 2010.

Dropping your pen on the floor during the tax process is considered an explicit agreement to send a donation to the Northwest Territories. Don't pretend you didn't. We've got a camera in your house.

If you wish to be considered for the Scavenger Hunt refund, enclose the following items with your forms: a rock with a weird stripe on it, a four-leaf clover, and at least three pine cones.

If you had that Accountant song from "The Meaning Of Life" stuck in your head the whole time, check here to receive compensation. You must also include a few lines to ensure that you actually know it and aren't just trying to siphon money out of us.

It's fun and manly in insurance
We'll up your premiums semi-annually!
It's all tax-deductible, we're fairly incorruptible
We're sailing on the wide accountant-sea!