July 13th, 2006


Review - Zombies

I don't normally chew gum at the theatre, as the chomp-chomp-chomp tends to get on my nerves even when I'm the one doing it, but I made an exception tonight as it was 11:30 and I was fading slightly around the edges. By the end of the show, I was rolling the ball of gum between my fingers, because I was afraid that if I put it back in my mouth I'd swallow it funny and choke to death.

And for one second, after the applause died down and the crowd was filing out to wailing electric guitar strains, I thought to myself: maybe I should swallow it. I could so easily just take that flavourless sphere of what used to be Trident Fruit Splash and flick it off my tongue, letting it slip further in, taking hold halfway down, solidifying in my windpipe. I would maybe stare at the ground for a moment as though I was lost in thought before I fell off my chair, skin turning pale blue while my eyes rolled backwards, the sticky mass refusing to unglue itself from me. A spike in people's memories, red and black in their minds against the other greys and whites of their lives, uncertainty and confusion then panic and ultimately sorrow, nailed into me with a sharpened exclamation point.

I did the Right Thing. I stood up, took my gum to the waste receptacle, and flicked it off my finger where it stuck to the inside of the black garbage bag, near the top. But as I walked back to the car, I could feel the lump in my throat where the point would have stabbed me if I'd tried it.

I'm sorry this isn't a very good review, Stewart. You've outdone yourself again, and there's no higher compliment I could think to pay you with than to tell you exactly how your brilliance and intensity touched my mind. I want to take Will's extraordinary power, bring it to a mirror, and unleash upon myself all the colours and textures and even the greys from between the cacaphonous bangs that I see from my perspective.

(Translation for people trying to decide if they should see the show: yes, yes, a thousand times yes! Read more about the confusion caused by this review here.)
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    you also sing when you're losing! **crickets**
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